Naked

Everyone likes to be a little bit naked a little bit of the time correct? Well. One of the funniest things i have decided is when people think you are naked and you really aren't, and you are walking around like you don't notice and or care.

Pretty sure that I get told on a weekly basis to just join a nudist colony and then i can be with people like me. You come into this world naked, why not leave it that way right? Freakin social construction. Sometimes i just wanna say eff you clothes, but i realize that it is not the clothes fault! They weren't like, 'oh i think I'm going to make things uncomfortable for the entire human race for the rest of the worlds' life Ba hahaha.' It's crazy people who decided naked was bad. Who decided that?!? I want to go wap them upside the head. The body is a beautiful thing. It is capable of so much!

Ok so when i get done swimming i take my straps off my shoulders and tuck them just right under my armpits, then i put on a towel. This gives the illusion that i am going sans clothes and man i get some of the funniest looks. I don't do it for this purpose, but it does make it more fun! Just for clarification, i do it because of my lovely man-shoulders. My straps dig into my shoulders and it kills so when I'm finitio i just pull them down.

OK ok so nude underwear. What is the purpose of that? To make it look like you aren't wearing underwear and that you are just going without? So it blends with your skin? This makes no sense. That worries people man. I will tell you a funny story though. So this person i know, probably me, was working one night as a waitress and was running around the restaurant. She was helping about 4 tables and one table came to give her the check. Turned out the dad of all people came up to her to let her know that her zipper was down. Now it wasn't like down and subtle it was down and KA BLAM! It looked like I was advertising my crotch. Very awkward. That is a day i will remember as one of three times ever being embarrassed in my entire life. It was only so bad because my underwear, while not being nude, they were a light peachy color..close enough. It legit looked like i had no underwear, or morals.

My question of course is why did no one bother to mention this to me earlier? One of the other girls said oh yeah my table (which was on the other side of the restaurant) wanted me to tell you that. I said 'why didn't you?!' and she said it had slipped her mind. How long ago was said table i wondered. Oh about 45 minutes ago.

Dang. People. Do someone else a favor and tell them when they 1. have their zipper down 2. have something in their teeth 3. Have something on their face 4. have a stain on their shirt. It isn't that difficult, and just think of all the trouble you are saving them!

So being naked, or nearly naked is neat, but mostly when you know you are :)