So this one year..

As I have previously mentioned, as the end of the year approaches, it is a great idea to think about what you've learned, things you have accomplished and other things that didn't quite happen the way they needed to. So I thought that maybe I would share a little insight of my own from the fun filled year of 2009.

This past year, was like no other. While there was personal change and alteration, I noticed that a lot of things that were external. Bear with me, and hopefully I can learn something through the writing process.

Love as a unit, love as individuals.
This may seem a little strange, but I came to find out something that I hadn't realized could exist in this sphere. Love will always be love, and carries with it this extraordinary power that I do not completely comprehend. I have heard of some people being in love with the concept of love- and this makes a little more sense. I loved an idea. I also loved the individuals within the idea, but i had never distinguished a difference. What happens is the dynamic changes. People encompassed in this love as a unit idea are still loved, but the unit has drastically changed and it throws off perceptions. There are numerous examples of this, but to be more specific, I will talk about Ray and Max.They are my new baby brothers, born April 16, 2009. I was convinced that our family was set. Hayden was the youngest and that was that. Our family was getting older, and to that stage where you discover you like each other. Then all of a sudden twins! I was so stunned by the news I didn't know how to react. As I contemplated how I would approach this I realized it was going to be difficult. As idiotic as it sounds I was afraid that they wouldn't fit in. But they came sure enough and it was unbelievable to find how quickly these little guys melted my heart. These little guys threw a wrench into my conception of family, but it was good. I saw that I love all members of my family, instead of the family as a unit, thus love as individuals vs. love as a unit.


Expectations.
This one took a long time for me to grasp. I'm talking years and years of experience after experience. People will let you down. It is a fact. No one is perfect and if we think they are, we have got something coming to us. We are all human. I expected people to behave in a consistent way, and to always be able to do so. This is not feasible. It seems that the problem existed in my head, and therein lie the solution as well. I held people to this unshakable non-moving spot. They were one could venture to say, on a pedestal of sorts. They had never forgotten about me, they had never ditched me, they never lied to me or omitted the truth, as far as I knew. Once i found out that there was a transgression, my view of them was completely skewed, and I was perplexed at where they would now fit in my brain. These people weren't bad, i didn't love them less, but I felt let down strangely. I stopped of course to consider this, and I found that I know for a fact I have let many people down with my inconsistent behavior. I know there have been phone calls I forgot to make, calls I didn't pick up, birthdays I had forgotten, and other events that some would have liked to share with me, and I fell through. If I have been this to you, know that I truly apologize. In this train of thought I realized how vital it is to forgive, and give the benefit of the doubt. Just because someone forgot about an engagement you had, doesn't mean they forgot about you, or don't care about you anymore, it simply means they are human. Life is too short to hold a grudge. Overlook faults that great people in your life are bound to have. It makes it so much easier to love, and to let yourself be loved that way.

It's all a matter of thought.
There may be times in your life when something that had never occurred to you, does. You look at something from a completely different angle and it blows your mind. The trick is, to not be afraid to look. You have to take risks to achieve greatness, or find something incredible. Nothing will fall into your lap without a little work. It's conceptual. The world around you may not change, but if the way you view it, does. You can guarantee that you will discover something new. Often people feel alone and unloved. It obviously does not mean that they in reality are alone and unloved, it is just the way they see it. One can feel abandoned and unwanted, and then they will find a friend who tells them how much they love and appreciate them, or they will come to Christ. These friends never did not love you, you just forgot they did. You were looking in the wrong lense. Nothing had changed except for your view.

Also randomly I have unfortunately found that consideration is not universal which i feel glum reporting. On a much more awesome note, our capabilities are endless. Honestly think about it. What could you be doing RIGHT NOW? So many things. Volunteering in South America, blowing money in Vegas, studying, sleeping, and other things you can easily imagine. I know I've said this plenty of times but i can not seem to get over the inane potential that we all possess should we choose to exploit it. Also to never take someone for granted. You can never know how much longer they will be in your life. We all need each other, and that is a fact. There is no refutation. We rely on one another, even if that means that it only entails having other cars on the road when we are driving to school, or someone to check you out at the grocery store. Any who. Consider your year, and hopefully it will spur a better and more successful one for each of us :)

Mantra Mantra Man -TRA!

The idea of a mantra is something that i find to be really beneficial!
At first i was curious as to what exactly a mantra was, and come to find out it had many meanings, but the most common context of the word mantra is most accurate is 'an often repeated expression or idea'.

Lots of 'experts' and some not so experts recommend having a mantra, or repeated phrase used to calm or reassure oneself of their goodness, wholeness and capability. The idea of being your own biggest fan is something I think all of us at times should do. We should all jump on that train- it makes other people believe you too. Obviously that means a lot because it seems to be a recurring theme in my ranting and raving. Believe in yourself friggin heck.

Having a mantra, also to me involves having a theme. (This may be the same thing but i feel there is a minuscule difference). So i have constructed a list of songs that are relevant to my life right now.


Take a look see
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/18523738123/standalone


According to you
Is a cool song. It talks about what most people think she is, but she feels special with this person. I would like to think that this isn't particular to a significant other, but that someone like a good friend or a family member can make you feel this way. I think that it's a great feeling, and that everyone needs a someone. A reliable someone, an understanding someone, and your next biggest fan.


Beautiful
This song is a little coarse.. (those who don't like swearing, be warned) but i think that it why i like it. As individuals we aren't cut and dry. We aren't perfect and life does not categorize very well. Mostly i like the chorus of the song 'don't let them say you ain't beautiful' the most. 'just stay true to you'. Someone else is saying this- maybe your second biggest fan- always good to have another to reassure you. Theme to life because these mantras are applicable and inspiring to me.

Merry Happy
Good ol Kate Nash. It talks about a relationship, which are always... learning experiences but she realizes the individual aspect. Favorite line: 'I can be alone yeah i can watch the sunset on my own'. I think that characterizes me perfectly and the whole song is just lovely- thus the theme song to my life :)

Twenty-twenty surgery
This song is really cool because it is kind of nonsensical if you don't know the meaning of it.. to put it plainly- the 20/20 part is vision and clearly, and how he doesn't see things clearly so he may as well get surgery and figure it out. It it really satirical and has something to do with Johnny Cash.. if you can figure that out.
Last lines 'Your so sensitive, I am I am a machine' i like this because i feel the same way the vocalist is sometimes. I feel like there is always a lot of unnecessary drama involved in life, and people are a little emotional.

Like a Boy
Basically just a good song. Talks about the inequalities of society and how it's a bunch of bull.

Music is my boyfriend
Well.. it is :)

Curse of curves
Again with social crap, if you are pretty and you look good, you can get just about anything. Also concretes that it is ok to act like that and there isn't anything that we can do about it. And i have curves :)

Feel that Fire
Talks about doing a bunch of random things, and not letting life stagnate. It talks about her significant other helping her to 'feel that fire' when she can't. Basically to me it is considered a theme song because I don't ever want to be bored with life and will continue to try and embrace it 'to feel that fire'

U got the look
I mostly like this song because of the first line. "You walked in, I woke up- i've never seen a pretty girl look so tough" I like to think that i can kick just about anyone's trash and look good doing it! (biggest fan come on)

Unusually unusual
I think the whole chorus of this song is great. I think that uniqueness is really underrated. So I like to take pride in not being the same as everyone else. It is kind of an anthem to all women.

Yellow
Well it is my favorite color. I also like the first line in this song, 'look at the stars look how they shine for you.. yeah they were all yellow'. I think of yellow as a happy glad color and this songs just makes me warm all over, and never fails to make me smile and calm me down.

'Fight like a girl' isn't on here, but it is one a would encourage ya'll to look at. It reverses the social construction of 'girl' so I really like it.

Making a play list as a theme for your life is a lot more fun then you would think, so I would definitely recommend it. Ya know... just something to consider :)

Missing you like crazy.

Do you ever miss people even when they aren't necessarily gone? This strange phenomenon has finally caught up with me.

It is most prevalent to me with this certain individual, who although they are not far from me, and it would be so easy to talk to them, i can't. I miss them so much my heart hurts. I think about all the time we used to spend together and how we used to confide in one another. I think about all the laughter and tears we shared, inside jokes etc, and i really miss them. I have tried to restore this relationship, but i don't think they want to. It hurts my pride, but my heart even more, because all I can do it pray and hope they come around and realize that they need me. But I'm afraid they won't and it scares the living hell out of me. I'm not one to just spout off like this but I can't pretend it doesn't matter to me, or that it doesn't affect me. This person is one of the few that I never thought I would lose, but I know that I have, at least temporarily and it is doing nothing short but driving me mad. Come back. I'll forgive and forget if you can simply understand. At least pretend you care.

Moving on, it is so important to realize what we have, and to not take it for granted. I know that moms around the United States uttered at some point to every one of their children that 'some kid in Ethiopia (or Africa, depends on how geographically inclined your mom is (whaaaaat)) would love to have your ____". Blank is interchangeable with spinach, food, toy, sister, house, opportunities, etc.
Don't be afraid to love your friends, your family, and even if only for a second remember all the blessings that you have been given. Let them know if you can't say love that you appreciate them, and that you notice what they do. It makes a world of difference.
Now that I'm off my soapbox... i know i am a guilty party. I don't do it enough. I can't even think about what would happen if....
It is so morose to me, and simply is too real in my mind to even about, i can't entertain the thought for long- but I'm working toward it.
Just, ya know something to consider.

It's the most wonderful time...

Christmas!

Geez whiz I love this time. People are kinder, more thoughtful and patient. For the most part, if you get Christmas, and forget about yourself. If you can look past the hustle and bustel and really enjoy this time it's beautiful.

The snow is falling, the Christmas music is everywhere, the Christmas lights light up the sky, Carol-ers scurry along the sidewalk, those bell ringers never fall to appear in front of the stores, It's Christmas time!

As we approach the end of the year we should reflect on what it held for us.
Victories, whoas, accomplishments, disappointments, changes and what failed to do so.
It is of utter importance that we study our last year and realize who much we've conquered. Be it another year of school down, a dream job, a new friend forever, of the love of a lifetime. Goals that have been accomplished or new hobbies, maybe you've even conquered a fear or two.
These are the things that keep us trucking along this path we call life. They grab us and pull us back so we can see where we are headed. Whether or not we can see the next station ahead of us, we can now more clearly at least see the street lamp feet before us.
The disappointments of the last year we can look at in regards to how to make things better, how to avoid the hurt, frustration and short comings. We now know better, and we can expect better for ourselves. We are stronger and more wise, we have bent and not broken and we can rejoice in that victorious fact.

No matter the course of our year, there will always be things just beyond our grasp. We can not control the actions of others, nor should we expect to try. We have to not only accept, but realize that others actions effect us, as well as our actions effect others. We therefore must try to exercise patience and understanding for those that we do not agree with, while not with holding love. We can not know everything, and perhaps eventually our eyes will be opened to what happened, but until then, we have to understand it is not our decision. It is as this concession that we see how we are all so interconnected. We should choose carefully our paths and decisions.
Change will come, it is a promise. We have hopefully grown accustom to this truth and can try and take it in stride, but honestly somethings will always knock us on our butts, no matter the preparation we put forth. The only thing we can do is expect it to come.

I hope we can each look forward to the New Year with sparkling enthusiasm, starry-eyed optimism and just a dab of realism. Know the New Year holds change, expect to get as much as you put in. Press on and know that everything has a purpose. In the words of a new found favorite Maori Proverb "Turn your face to the Sun and the shadows fall behind you".

Tastes delicious!

Yum yum!


I've come to notice that everyone's tastes change. This phenomenon is apparent in anything. Music, movies, clothes, people.. etc. I've contemplated what in the world could be the reason for this.

It seems to me that I am always re-evaluating myself and my beliefs. This is not to say that I am a pushover, only that times change, people change and with that change, has to involve some adaptation. If you have ever met someone incredibly dogmatic, you know what i'm talking about. This is common in really old people :) These individuals have not changed their 'beliefs' or anything (not to mention their haircut) since 1953. It is difficult to speak with these individuals about certain topics because no matter how much you want them to see your p.o.v (point of view), they are going to stick to their guns. Frustrating? You betcha. It is increasingly so, especially when they will not listen, and you aren't even trying to convince them, you only wish that they see your view.

I feel that re-evaluating is necessary. There is a point you get to and realize that perhaps what you used to absolutely love, you can now merely appreciate. Maybe something you obsessed over, be it a favorite band or movie yada yada is still good or has some fantastic qualities, but it just isn't what it used to be for you. I beleieve that this is due (at least in my case) for a thirst for constant change. In high school, i was a really big fan of the band New Found Glory. I loved their lyrics, their fast paced fun tempos, amazing drummer etc, they were also one fo the first punk bands i listened to. I look at them now, and of course i am still a fan, but because i crave change, I have found other bands that are just as good or better than NFG. I still appreciate them, and when i they pop up on itunes or pandora, i smile and reminisce of my crazy high school days. Thank goodness i don't have to go back!!


When it come to values and beliefs, they don't necessarily have to change drastically, if at all. They are most people's core and what they are all about. By evaluating ones values, I think it helps to concrete them, to re-affirm why they believe this specific set of things. It is good however to reflect and make sure that you don't feel a certain way because it's easier, because that is what you were raised, or steal that set from a friend or another you are close with. It is critical to know for yourself and to have sound reason (or feelings) about a particular subject. As we were previously talking about media, it seems legitimate to ask if maybe we are partaking in a fad. Maybe we were, maybe we weren't. But bottom line is that tastes change. Some individuals are more prone to it than others, but that is expected. We grow. We certainly outgrow things. It is all part of our nature!

It all comes down to realizing times are changing, we are constantly changing and that it is good and healthy. The most important thing i would say, is to always think (or consider, thus the blog title). Never become stagnant because the world will continue to turn and whirl around you .

Too much of a good thing!

Good.
Acceptable. ace.advantageous. amazing. awesome. bad. beneficial. blessed. bomb. choice. cool. chipper. dandy. dashing.delightful. exceptional. extraordinary. excellent. fantastic. fabulous. fortunate. first-rate. great. grand. groovy. gnarly. happy. incredible. insane. keen. lovely. marvelous. not bad. neat. nifty. neato. outstanding. peachy. pristine. quaint. rad. sick. stellar. sweet. swell. smashing. SOOO good. solid. superb. scintillating. super. stupendous. super dooper. tiptop.unbelievable. unstoppable. voluptuous. wonderful. wunderbar. well.

If ya know me, ya know how i feel about words. I pretty much think they are the bomb.com. So i came up with a few.. different words to describe something, someone or ourselves.

60. That is the number of synonyms above. Most of them can be applied across the board, and others, such as sick and bad, can be more situational. When someone asks you how you are doing, throw one of these sweet a synonyms and people will believe you! And you in turn will also believe it!

Words have an unfathomable effect on the mind. Take for instance, you are walking down the street, someone curses at you, and tells you to ( a particular letter in the alphabet after e) off. That can either draw someone to tears, make them want to punch the dude in the face, or make them laugh. This is all just from a simple 2 words. Other words can also effect us in a positive way. Like hearing ' you look absolutely incredible'. It is so kind and warms my lil heart when hearing people talk positively about one another. Put that in your think tank before you decide to go blabber unkind words about someone else. Yaaay words!

p.s, i just really like flamingos :)

Stuff! Everybody likes stuff!!

So, i was thinking the other day (i know, weird) and my mind stumbled upon things. I know could i be more ambiguous? Things. Materials. Possessions. Why do we need them?! I am as guilty as many, and perhaps the key is just awareness, so i dubbed it worthy to go into my 'things to consider' blog.

We as a society are so concerned with owning things. The best cars, the best phones, the latest technology, the nicest clothes. We are trying to outdo our neighbors! We want more more more. But do we NEED more more more? Let me help ya out, the answer is no. The United States economy is in a world of hurt right now. I refuse to go into politics and play the blame game, but what would make this situation better? If our own personal debt was under control. Of course the market thrives on spending money and consumerism but, we could improve our situations. Affluenza as I have heard it called is our obsession with the need for things, which leads many to falsely correlate this to status and power.

"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." - Scarface


I'm not talking about women here, just perceived power.

Don't cars for the most part all serve the same purpose? I mean yeah you've got 2 door, 4 door, hatchback, sedan blah blah blah. They get you places you need to go right? What baffles my mind is why you would want to buy a truck if you don't work construction, don't go off roading, don't hunt, don't tow boats or toys etc.. Why? They are terrible for the environment, they suck up gas, they aren't efficient.. What is their purpose? Sports cars. When will you be alone in a high speed chase that you will need that incredible acceleration power? If you are climbing mountains aka Lambs Canyon, you may want something a little more powerful, but I'm pretty sure my little Honda- 4 cylinders front wheel drive can make it up that mountain with slight deceleration with four people in the car. I suppose it all depends on where you hold your priorities, in being showy and out thousands more dollars, or being efficient. Just saying.

Phones are pretty convenient, not gonna lie. Member when you could only call people? Crazy because it was only about 4 years ago that texting began to explode and now it completely dictates most of our lives! I'm quite the guilty party so i will not deny that! But now you can do anything! ANYTHING on your phone, Internet, shop, check facebook, twitter, myspace, friendster there are games on there, ways to find music, the list is exhausting! But do we need all of that? It seems to me that we are in trouble if we can not just disconnect from our phones when we want to. If you don't want to answer your phone, don't! If you don't want to text back, don't! One should not feel bad if they set their phone on silent or simply turn it off. We don't need to be in touch all the time. Of course it can be convenient, or course if you don't mind being bombarded with a zillion texts from everyone, that is your preference.




There are so many side roads i feel that need to be explored, but if I were to do so, i would be here until next year. We honestly don't need half of the things we think we do. The simple life seems the best option. As I mentioned above, no doubt they are convenient! Of course i love the fact that i could pull out my ipod and listen to my entire collection of music. That is ideal!

If you believe in an afterlife, a heaven of sorts, which i do, then maybe it helps to put into perspective that we can not take anything with us. We don't even get to take our bodies! So what is the use of having a flash car, some designer clothes, the newest ipod etc.? You know what seems important to have at that point? Relationships. People. Experiences. What do you have if you don't have them? If you have extra money why buy a luxury car when you can go on a stalwart whirlwind adventure?!

Of course the purpose of this is to 'consider' what was said and perhaps simplify our lives. Beware of Affluenza, and be aware of your habits and perhaps eliminate fluff and nonsense in life.

That is all :)